Our Fairy Horse Mother

We met Judy (our fairy horse mother) when India finally started taking private riding lessons. I still don’t know how we lucked into finding her. As a coach, she was the perfect blend of encouragement, and honesty about what you needed to improve. She also didn’t just coach you to be a better rider, but a better all around horse person. Sometimes that meant working on the basics for longer than India may have wanted, but it truly made her a better rider. She also taught us that riding a horse wasn’t just about your skills as a rider, but about working with a horse to clearly communicate - both in asking for what you wanted the horse to do and listening to where the horse may be struggling. If you want to have a great partnership with your horse it’s as much about training as it is riding. 

When we decided to move away, Judy poured all the information she could into me so that we could be a little more independent, while we looked for a new barn, coach and horse. She taught me everything from how to hook up a trailer, to how to spot a lameness in a horse. Overall, she opened the door to the world of horses to us, and took us far beyond being able to walk, trot and canter with our horses. 

If you are new to horses, it is so important to find people you can trust to help you along the way. I am hoping I can be one of those people, but I am also hoping I may be able to help you find your own horse people too. 

Here’s a few things to look for when looking for other horse people to help guide you.

Someone who doesn’t make you feel stupid for asking questions.

There is so much to learn when you first get started, and it is so important to be able to ask questions freely without fear of being judged. The world of horses can feel overwhelming with all the terminology, equipment, and techniques that experienced horse people take for granted. You might wonder why we use different brushes for different parts of the horse, or what your coach means when they tell you to “half-halt,” or even basic questions like why horses need shoes. A good horse person will remember what it was like to be a beginner and will welcome your curiosity rather than make you feel foolish. They’ll explain things clearly without talking down to you, and they’ll create an environment where you feel comfortable admitting when you don’t understand something. These are the people who will patiently answer the same question multiple times if needed, because they know that learning about horses is a process that takes time.

Someone who doesn’t pressure you into more than you’re ready for.

Whether it’s getting into private lessons, learning how to canter or jump, or buying your first horse, it is so important to not feel pressured into diving in deeper than you are ready for. Good horse people understand that everyone progresses at their own pace, and they respect your comfort level and budget. They won’t push you to lease a horse before you’re confident in your basic riding skills, or encourage you to jump before you have a solid foundation in flatwork. They also won’t make you feel like you’re missing out or being too cautious if you want to spend more time mastering the basics. Instead, they’ll help you set realistic goals and celebrate your progress along the way. This patience and respect for your timeline is crucial because feeling pressured can lead to accidents, anxiety, or financial decisions you’re not ready for. The right horse person will support your journey at whatever pace feels right for you.

Someone who is respectful of horses, and deeply cares for their well-being.

Pay attention to the little details, like if a coach gives the horses time to warm up and cool down before and after a lesson, or who spends the time to make sure you know how to properly groom a horse. Watch how they interact with the horses when they think no one is looking - Are they firm but kind with the horses? Do they notice when a horse seems uncomfortable, and take the time to address any issues? A good horse person will teach you that horses are partners, not just tools for our enjoyment. They’ll show you how to read a horse’s body language, respect their moods and limitations, and prioritize the horse’s comfort and health above all else. This mindset will shape how you approach every aspect of horsemanship, from the daily care routines to your riding goals. When you learn from someone who truly cares about horses, you’ll develop that same deep respect and connection with the horses you partner with.

Someone who is encouraging.

You will find yourself discouraged for so many reasons at different times. Having someone who can cheer you on and encourage you through challenges will keep you going when the learning curve feels steep. Horses have a way of humbling even the most confident people, and there will be days when nothing seems to go right - your horse won’t cooperate, you can’t get the hang of a new skill, or you feel like you’re making no progress at all. An encouraging horse person will remind you that everyone goes through these frustrations, celebrate the small breakthroughs that you might not even notice yourself, and help you see how far you’ve actually come. They understand that building a relationship with horses takes time and patience, and they’ll be there to lift your spirits when you’re ready to throw in the towel. Their steady confidence in your abilities will carry you through the inevitable rough patches that come with learning horsemanship.

Entering the world of horses is a beautiful, wild ride. Finding the right people to support us in our journey has made all the difference.